Planning for Success with Realism

Hard truth: Planning for success in life is not simply about mapping out a straight path that leads directly to your goals. Success is a journey that involves setbacks, obstacles, failures, and is a continuous process of learning and unlearning from daily challenges.

If you're, like me, struggling to plan for the next five years, this exercise can guide you in setting realistic goals, create a plan for personal growth, and build resilience along the way.

This activity was more than just a task for me. It turned into an emotional journey that helped me heal and created room for personal growth. (I hear you thinking, "Ho ho ho, we're planning for the future here." Yes, we are... just be patient for a sec and keep reading.)

In the past, I often pretended to be strong, hiding my vulnerabilities to show that I was resilient. I constantly told myself to never give up and keep fighting. But then, I did the Lifeline exercise as part of my Master Coach studies, and everything changed.

As I mapped out my life's timeline, something profound shifted within me. It was more than just experiencing ups and downs; it was about truly recognising the highs and lows and the energy and strength it took to keep going.

During that moment of reflection, I saw my life unfold on paper in front of me, with both joy and pain, especially in my youth and the years leading up to that moment in 2020. Sharing my lifeline with my fellow students was a raw admission of the struggles I faced.

Afterwards, I felt a mix of relief and shame for breaking down in that vulnerable space. But amidst those conflicting feelings, I also developed compassion and acceptance for the less-than-ideal parts of myself that emerged through my journey.

Once again, it made me realise that change is the only constant thing in life. So, even if you think you've got everything sorted, sometimes life takes unexpected turns. In those moments, it's valuable to acknowledge that it's totally okay to not feel okay, to make mistakes, to feel overwhelmed, or stuck.

Embracing and showing up to these challenges is an act of self-compassion, allowing us to see setbacks as integral to our learning journey.

Actually, did you know that practising self-compassion can create an inner supportive environment? And that this is your powerhouse to approach challenges with a positive and open mindset, allowing us to transform obstacles into opportunities? (In psychology, we call this a resource, which is anyone or anything that helps with growth and healing.)

As you can probably imagine, my mind was like 🤯 and I started to be more compassionate towards myself and tried to spread it to others too, as soon as I realised the existence of this inner powerhouse.

To apply these insights to my future, I combined various exercises to create realistic goals and a roadmap for the next five years.

How to plan for success with realism?

1. Reflect on past experiences: Start by looking back at your life. Create a timeline from birth until the present. Jot down important life events such as graduations, marriages, deaths, and job changes. Also consider significant experiences like accomplishments, challenges, fears overcome, standing up for something, and lessons learned during those years.

   Ask yourself:

   1. Which events/milestones happened between birth and present?

2. Get to know your Self - Practice self-compassion and acceptance: Take a breath and review your past experiences. Write down how you felt during that time. Recognise that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Also, be kind to yourself throughout this process – Learning and growth is all about vulnerability, so it’s important to cultivate self-compassion and acceptance 🖤

   Ask yourself:

   1. How did each event make you feel? (Dig deep, and really try to feel and tap into the different emotions you experienced.)

   2. Which assumptions were you making at each event? Which assumptions were others making about you?

   3. What does each event mean to you today?

   4. How did they change or shape you?

3. Extract learnings and insights: From your past experiences, identify the learnings and insights that can be applied to future tasks and projects. Note any patterns or strategies that have worked well in the past.

   Ask yourself:

   1. What did you learn from each event?

   2. How did you cope with each event?

   3. Who were the people who had the greatest impact on your life? (This was/is your support system aka resource)

   4. If someone else looked at your lifeline, what would they say mattered (valued) most to you? Why would they say that? (These are your values.)

4. Look into the future: Once you have extracted the learnings from the past, shift your focus to the future. Define specific goals and break them down into manageable tasks and activities that align with your desired outcomes.

   Ask yourself:

   1. How does success look like for you in each life area? (Potentially, use the Wheel of Life exercise to define success in each segment of your life)

   2. How does success feel? Does it feel the same in each area?

   3. Who, or what do you need to do to reach this success?

5. Build a new timeline: Create a new visual timeline. This time, you start in the present and add 5 years in the future. Include the activities and tasks from previous point. This timeline will help you see the bigger picture and guide your planning and estimation.

   Ask yourself:

   1. Is this realistic?

   2. Do you have the time and resources, or does something have to change?

   3. Who or what do you need to make that happen? Any beliefs holding you back?

   4. Adjust your timeline by adding more resources and allowing extra time.

6. Last but certainly not least: Start living with the intention to follow your plans, whilst utilising your insights with compassion and acceptance.

Go ahead and dig. Feel and listen. Know, imagine, and plan – I'm here if you need support.